Day 69 - That damn fat lady sang

I hate every moment of sitting here writing this post.
Not because I hate to blog...but it's over...She sang....
That damn fat lady sang and it's over...for now.

I wish I could have bottled up the feelings and vibes that I encountered as I walked to the stadium from the parking garage.

The atmosphere was amazing! Everything felt like it was as big, if not bigger than it was during the All-Star Game festivities.

Enough of this blah, blah, blah....STORIES!

Now you'd think that with the final game, there'd be some amazing stories...well, you're right...sort of...there was at least one amazing moment during this final game of the '09 season.

-I walked to the top of a section and a lady in the top row asked for a beer. She looked like she was in her mid-to-late-40's and (who I can only assume to be her husband) was standing behind her. I gave her her beer and then she realized she needed to pay me. She seemed to act a little funny after I handed her the beer. She started to fumble through her pocket and pull out everything but money. She began to talk about how she thought she had some money in her pockets...She emptied out of her pockets a half-dozen receipts, some car keys, chapstick, fingernail clippers and a few quarters. Finally she found a few $1's and then her husband (who I could tell was frustrated/embarrassed by this woman) stretched out his hand with a $10 in it. I gave him back his change while the woman continued to search for money...she was talking to herself...as if she was encouraging herself to find money.

A few innings later I was walking back up to the top of that same section when I noticed this same woman start to walk back to her seat. As she started to sit down, she wobbled back and forth a bit...then gravity decided to her...she fell straight to the floor. She snapped back up and sat back into her seat. As her husband helped her sit upright, he just shook his head ashamed of what just took place. I was right there in front of her and immediately asked her if she was alright. She kept saying over and over again, "I'm Fine!" as if she needed to remind herself.

I followed protocol...alerted the closest usher and other beer men about the intoxicated cougar at the top of section 248.

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Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that unneeded reinforcements were brought in for the game. About 8 beer men from Chicago were brought into our commissary. These guys from Chicago were beer men at Soldier Field. About 50 more people were brought in from the military base in Ft. Leonard Wood to work throughout the stadium. I guess they were expecting a big crowd or something.

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After completing a sale, I tell the beer-drinking fan, "thank & enjoy the game." I had several instances when the fans would return with a, "yeah...well, we're trying to" or a "if we had a few more runs we will." Then towards the end of the game, fans would realize that this was it. The season was over after this game if we were to lose. Then they'd realize that this was potentially my last day of working too. A few fans asked what was next for me. "Are you going to work Blues or Rams games?" I laughed when they asked about Rams games. Then I'd tell them how I just accepted a temp job. I'll be in charge of an email marketing campaign and will be doing that till the end of '09. They would usually just say the usual, 'good luck with that' or 'see you next season'.

Hmmmm....next season...return as a beer man?...well that will be covered in a blog in the near future.

As for the end of this game, this season...it has been an amazing time.

I will post a few more blogs over the next 2 weeks...reflecting on different things that I never talked about during the season...as well as a special Cards/Cubs tribute blog.

So, until later on again this week, thank you faithful readers. It's been an amazing time!...just wish that fat lady could have waited to sing on another day.

Totals for 2009 season:
73 Bags of Cracker Jacks (at $3.50/bag = $255.50)
167 Bottles of Water (at $5/bottle = $835)
293 Bags of Peanuts (at $4/bag = $1172)
4564 Bottles of Beer (at $7.75/bottle = $35,371)
Grand Total for 2009 sales: $37633.50
(no, I did not make that much money, just a small commission of it)

Day 56, 57 & 58 - Territorial - Bottle Top

So I didn't have any stories worth sharing the past few games...but last night...I had a few dandy ones.

Last night I had a beer man that has been known to do very well in our commissary, come down into a section that I was already in. Now the rules set by our employer states that only 2 vendors per aisle. It has been an unspoken rule between all beer men that if another beer man is down that aisle, he's got that section...it's okay if a food vendor and a beer man are in the same aisle though...just never two beer men....(that's for the sections our commissary covers)...(down lower in the 100's sections, you almost need 2 in an aisle to cover that many people)

I just look up and he was already half way down the steps into my section. I shot him a look and he "then" realized I was down there and walked back up. He's been known to do this before and "take" sales from the top half of a section from the beer man that is already at the bottom of the steps. Not cool. Not cool.

Then, during 'last call' he follows right behind me down one section...not joking, only 4 or 5 steps behind me...Beer man foul! ...I just turn around (not wanting to make a scene) and ask 'what are you doing?' as he is asking a group of guys in the top row if they needed another one and if they were alright'. At that exact moment, the last out was caught, end of the 7th, end of sales.

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Last night, during the bottom of the 6th, I was walking down a section when a guy motioned for a beer. I sold him a beer and he gave me a $8 at first...then handed me another $1. As I was about to head down towards the rest of the section, he asked me something. I couldn't hear what he said because of the roar of the crowd. He leaned in and asked in a mumbling voice, "where is the bottle top for this beer?"

I grabbed into my beer tub and showed him the bottle top. He grabbed it out of my hand and I grabbed it back saying, "I'm sorry sir, we can't give the caps out with the beer." (It's a rule we have to follow by our employer...rarely do I ever have anyone ask for the cap) He looked at me with a funny face and said, "then how about you give me that dollar back." So I gave it back to him.

I walked all of the way down to the end of that section and as I was walking up, the game went into the 7th inning...'last call'. I started to announce this and that same guy who just asked for his dollar back, wanted another beer.

I debated on just walking past him, but thought to myself, it's another sale, even if he doesn't tip me, i'll still be getting commission from that beer. I wait for people to pass by because everyone seemed to need to go to the bathroom or buy beer from the bar at the same time...I finally make it over to that guy. He asks for one beer and say, "here. here is $9 since you got all mad at me earlier." I responded, "sir there is nothing I could have done. We are not allowed to give the bottle cap out with the beer. I'm sorry." He just looked at me with a dumb look on his face...then he said, "you need to just relax man. stop taking your job so seriously." I told him, "thank you and enjoy the rest of the game."

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That's it from last night. Today is another day game. Oh yeah, you know it's business time again!

Totals thus far:
73 Bags of Cracker Jacks
141 Bottles of Water
245 Bags of Peanuts
3586 Bottles of Beer

Day 55 - Worst Best Day Ever!

I wish I could tell you that I make half of this crap up...but it's all true...it's honestly way to crazy to make up....the reason I titled this blog "Worst Best Day Ever!" is because of the events that took place. I had an amazing day in sales, but felt awful for an incident that occurred...read on and you'll understand what I mean.

Yesterday's day game was by far one of the most eventful games I've had in a long time.

I was running late...Since it was a day game, parking was going to be more expensive in the garage I normally park in...have to pay the "day rate" of $10 instead of the $4 for the night price during games....So after trying to figure out where I was going to park and make it into the stadium in time...I parked in the "special" parking lot that employees of Sports Services can park in for a discounted price of something around $6. It is the lot to the southwest of the stadium. We have been told before that if we park there, we can enter the stadium on that street side entrance for employees near gate 3 and walk through the stadium to change/clock-in in the Sports Services lobby.

I walk up to the entrance way and the Busch Stadium employee tells me I can't enter through this door. I explain that I was told at the beginning of the year that we were able to and he just replied back with saying, "yeah, well there's been a problem with that, you need to walk up to that green awning area past gate 3."

So I walk to that entrance he pointed to and the older gentleman behind the door that was shut just looked at me. I showed him my badge and he just motioned for me to keep walking. I tried to tell him through the glass door that I was an employee, showing him my badge again and he just shook his head 'no' and told me to keep walking.

I finally make it around to the other side of the stadium where we I normally enter the stadium...I was a bit ticked at the fact that I was told one thing and was now being told another thing by a different person...it was my own fault for running late...but it wouldn't have been my fault if I wasn't able to clock in because I was late when I was at an entrance I was told I could enter through...frustrating way to start my day off..... I still made it there in time...just a bit frustrated...

With it being a day game, my commissary was closed due to our supervisor having to work at her other job as a school teacher. So the guys that did show up from commissary 240 were split up between commissary 168 & 134. I was assigned to 134 with 2 other guys from 240. We had discussed that since our commissary (240) was closed, there wouldn't be any beer men up on that level in the sections we normally sell in. So we decided that the 3 of us would go up there and rake in the sales!

Before I even got out of the commissary, some of the regular beer men down there were harassing us (240 beer men) as if they were superior beer men for working down there. They were telling us that if we were going to stick around in their sections they would cut down into our sections and take as many sales away from us as possible...most of those guys were just a bunch of barbaric fools if you ask me...I'll explain more later...

Thank God for escalators...this made the trip up to the second level of the stadium much easier...going down, well, we had to take the steps since the escalators closest to us don't go down till the 7th inning.

I had already sold about half of my first case before the game started...I told myself that this was going to be a great day of making some sales since there were only a few of us guys working 25 sections compared to nearly 20 guys working in the 25 sections...

***Before I share this next story...do this: yell the word "peanuts" really loud! If you can't do that right now, do it in your head. Do you hear what that sounded like?***

I was making my way down into a section as people were still coming into the stadium...trying to make a few more sales before the games started...I was yelling out my beer man hawk, "ICE COLD BEER! ICE COLD BUD, BUD LIGHT, BUD SELECT! ICE COLD BEER! PEANUTS!" I had a guy motion for me to come down to him and his buddies...all of them wearing business attire...I thought the guy was asked me for peanuts. He kept looking at me and back to the guy sitting next to him, then back at me with a childish grin...He said, "penis! this guys a penis. you said you have penis? this guy needs one.... I didn't want to buy anything, just wanted to share that with you." I shook my head and walked away. I realized that I need to be sure I enunciate a bit more...or else full grown business men will act like a jr. highers...

*I really struggled with deciding if I was going to share this next story...but here it goes...
Have you ever been so thirsty that you choke when you take a drink of something? Have you had your throat so dry, you want to chug any liquid as fast as you can and as soon as that liquid comes into contact with your throat, you instantly choke or cough?

I was busting my butt off during the heat of the day game when I sat my tub down behind section 251 to quench my thirst. My throat and mouth was so dry from being so hot as well as yelling out my beer call. I twisted off the cap of my Gatorade bottle filled with ice cold water. I noticed that Holliday was up to bat. I paused to watch him hit. I then lifted my Gatorade bottle to my lips and got a huge mouthful of water when at the exact same moment as Holliday hit his homerun, I choked on that ice cold water the moment it came into contact with my throat. I tried to turn my head towards my arm to cover the cough that was coming on. That big gulp of water just became a projectile.

The sold out crowd was on their feet cheering for the solo shot out into left field while I gave the couple sitting in the last row of section 251 a shower. I can only describe it as what it would be like to take a ride on the Maid of The Mist at Niagara Falls. I have never in my entire life felt so bad for what had just happened. I just spit water onto these 2 fans. I immediately apologized. The could see that I was embarrassed, but I don't think they knew how bad I truly felt. The fans were still on their feet and this couple who just had a quick cool-down were still half unsure of what to do. I apologized again and they just said it was okay and then the guy walked off...I didn't know what was gonna happen, I didn't know where he went to...I saw that he came back with some napkins to clean him and his wife off a bit. I apologized again and the lady said it was okay.

Again, I have never felt so bad in my entire life. I could have just caused this couple to never want to come back to a baseball game at Busch Stadium their entire life in fear of getting spit on! I had already made my way into a few sections over, still feeling awful when I decided that I would go back and give them a free beer (even though, I'd be paying for it, it was the least I could do in hopes of kindling our relationship). They were gone. I don't know if they left, if they moved into another section or what, but they weren't back there for the remainder of the game...

*While walking through the amazing air-conditioned Red Bird Club to get to the next section over, I hear someone yell my name. Not just my first name, cause it's not like I don't share a common name or anything...but first and last name. A girl I graduated high school, Jane, with was there with a few of her coworkers. She came over and gave me what was like a semi-side hug...which I personally was thinking to myself, 'I'm fricken drenched in sweat and smelly and she's huggin me?...who wants to hug a beer man?' Then it hit me...'WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO HUG THE BEER MAN!??!?!'

*I was in a section making a few sales when I had a guy in a business suite motion for one beer. He was sitting on the end of the row. He asked for a Bud and then leaned forward to get his wallet out of his pocket. Then there was a loud 'snap'! It sounded like a gun went off right under his seat.... Nope...not a gun, but the sound did come from his seat. He broke his seat. The bottom of the seat catches on the back so it wont' fold down any farther...well this guy (yeah he was an easy 300+ lbs.) snapped the chair past the part that keeps the seat level. He couldn't sit back, cause the bottom of the seat was sloped down and I did everything inside of me from not bursting into laughter from this site. He stood up and snapped the seat back down. He sat back down and looked at me and said, 'let's make that a Bud Light'. I wonder if him switching from Bud to Bud Light will create a flow of events that will inevitably lead him to become the "Jared" of Budweiser?

I've witnessed some amazing things in my days while working at Busch Stadium, but this day game really just topped it off. Sales were amazing! The crowd of business folk were amazing...and some were childish.

As I was going through check-out in 134, the other beer men were acting a bit more childish than that businessman did while asking for a penis for his friend. The beer men were cutting ahead of each other in line, yelling at each other, complaining about how hot it was, trying to cut in front of each other again in the line...they were acting barbaric in the ways they were treating each other. Myself and the other 2 beer men from 240 just kept to ourselves and ended up at the end of the line...I didn't care where I ended up, I had a crazy day.

After waiting in the long line to check-out and after clocking out, I was able to make my way back to my car and head home (hopefully before rush hour traffic hit). Then about half-way back towards the usual parking garage I park in, I realize I parked next to the stadium. Awesome! Well, it wasn't awesome till sitting in traffic for nearly 45 minutes just to get onto the interstate, which took another 45 minutes just to get home...who cares...I witnessed a man break a seat and accidentally gave a couple a shower (which even as I type this, I still feel bad).

Totals thus far:
73 Bags of Cracker Jacks
135 Bottles of Water
227 Bags of Peanuts
3365 Bottles of Beer

Day 12 & 13 - Old Style, Personal Best & People's Worst

My first Cards/Cubs home series as a beer vendor has come to an end.

I want to start off by saying something about Cubs fans...

Cubs fans tip better than Cardinal fans, which I appreciate!
Cubs fans are polite when they are losing or lose a game
Cubs fans are cockier/annoying more than ever when they have the lead or win a game!

You see, the bit about them tipping is a fact...I had more tips from Cubs fans than Cards fans...I also came up with a clever beer call while the Cubs were in town..."Ice Cold Beer! Bud Light, Bud Select, Old Style...Just Jokin!" You see, most of the Cub fans got a laugh out of it...some felt led on, I found it to be clever! (for those that don't know, Old Style is the beer of choice at Wrigley Field)

Saturday's stories:

I nearly got flashed... Fact: I would have been flashed if I hadn't of turned my head away. There was this girl who was already pretty wasted and well, she about as big around as a pencil and probably didn't even weigh in at 100lbs....and she had on a tube-top that was probably the wrapper to a straw...well, i don't know how to put it politely, but she was not gifted with anything to help keep her top up...she was jumping around as a few runs were being scored, I didn't realize it till it was almost too late as i was standing right next to her after after just selling a few beers to the row across from her...I quickly looked the other way and was yelling out my call.....well, what she barely had was about to pop out and as I turned away I heard her say a few words that she shared with everyone how tired she was of popping out of her f'n top and flashing everyone...

I had my best day ever! Personal best so far this season! I sold 5 cases!...during last call, didn't even get out of a section without selling everything left in my tub! Great day indeed!

Sunday's stories:

The atmosphere at Sunday's game was very intense. I saw numerous cards/cubs fans get into dispute about who was sitting in who's seats...I saw more police and security than ever on the move through out the game. I saw several people drunk before the game had even started.

It felt as if everyone was on their worst behavior...everyone was acting rude, very irritated...and the game hadn't even started...

I had beer spilled onto me today...no crazy story other than the dude wasn't paying attention and wasted about $3.50 of beer onto me.

I found an entire section from Quincy, IL...as I was carding most of them, I mentioned how I was from Hannibal...it didn't help with the tip and it didn't help with starting conversation with any of them...oh well...

I was being "watched" by one of our supervisors today while selling and I didn't even know it till I walked back towards the commissary and saw her there. I just said hi to her and she asked what I had left in my tub...I had just sold out of my 4th case during last call. She was happy for me, told me to sign on this paper that showed her observations...it showed that I did a perfect job! I was pleased.


Once again this coming week, another week of away games...thank God!...my arms/hands/legs/shoulders/back/knees need a break! I'll be doing another Q & A blog if there are any Q's posted (so post them as a comment and i'll answer them) on here....also, look for a blog about how all of us guys in Commissary 240 have become like a platoon of solders and how an ex-Marine walked out after one day of work as a beer man (true story)....also this coming week, I'll share a few other thoughts of what it's like to be an STL Beer Man.