Tips - "To Flirt, or Not To Flirt?"

This topic has been on my mind for quite some time now...I have asked my girlfriend to help throw in her 2 cents on the topic...I wrote my thoughts and she commented and shared her thoughts in here....I have in no way edited the sections she has written....the text that is pink-ish/purple-ish is her thoughts...

I used to wait tables while in college. It wasn't that fancy of a restaurant...just a small place at a tourist attraction back home. Seeing as how most of my tables were tourists groups of families/old woman/retired couples...it wasn't common for a group of young women that I could flirt with to try my chances... I would occasionally get a table where I would flirt to try and get a better tip.

I, personally, have never waited tables or held any job that I received tips for. I have heard friends tell many stories though. I have one female friend that would always flirt with tables of men, and said that it seemed to help her tips, especially with older men. Is this ok? My very first reaction was no. But the more I think about it, the more I realize there is so much more to it. If it is all innocent, then why not? Why not do what you can to get a larger tip? Is there a set of rules for flirting with customers somewhere out there? Like do not flirt with a male customer who looks old enough to be your grandpa. Or do not flirt with a male customer who is in the company of any female, mom or not. That would make things a bit easier…probably for bother genders.

As a beer man, although it is a different atmosphere, I'm still serving customers and will occasionally get a tip. Numerous times I've been stiffed by fans. I've had a few people that make small talk ask how much beer men get paid. That's the only time I'll share with a fan that I am paid through commission and if they ask about tips, I share that there is the occasional tip here or there.... (Since it is in our handbook that we are not to advertise in any way or try to coax fans into giving us tips.)

As a waiter, you can milk the people sitting at your tables with something that is known as 'sucking up'....no other way to put it...There are numerous things that can be done to accomplish this...always making sure their glass is full, double checking on the quality of their food, being very prompt, friendly...you get the picture...

While being a beer man, you can only do so much....I mean, the beer can only be so cold...it comes out of the fridge, into my tub and covered with ice. It's not like I can give out frosted mugs with each beer....I can't control the way the Cardinals play (not that I need to worry about that recently anyways...since they won 5 of 6 in their last homestand) I can only do so much to make sure their experience is the best ever...Yes, I can stand there and talk to them, but most of them want to watch the game and want me to serve them their ice cold beer and get out of their way.

However...there are the groups of college girls, young woman and the cougars....only way to make their night a bit better is to show them special attention...oh, they call that flirting don't they.... Fact: women like attention. Fact: most single women enjoy flirting. Fact: cougars are out for young blood...and it's scary.

Fact: Women like attention, yes…most of the time. But not necessarily from their waiter/beer man just trying to get a better tip. Personally, I don’t think being hit on by a strange man would affect the tip that I give. Unless, I reduce it due to the overly creepy vibe that some men tend to give off. Fact: Cougars are a different breed and I don’t think I have enough time to address this sort. Scary? Indeed.

You can go ahead and call me shallow, but when I've been single, I wouldn't think twice about flirting with an attractive woman. Where you at men? Let me hear you... what guy doesn't mind flirting with an attractive female?

Yeah, where are you men? Step up and admit that you shamelessly flirt with every attractive female you come in contact with just to get a better tip with no other intentions other than that! Ha! Ok, ok, all sarcasm aside, I think this is a prime example of how much the male and female minds differ. Most males probably don’t see any problem with a little flirting to increase a potential tip and fattening up their wallet a bit. However, the female customer may interpret that differently. This is where the possible problem lies. In all honesty, women look way deeper into things than what may be intended and an innocent flirtation from a man can seem like way more to the women on the receiving end. Yes, women do flirt with male customers as well, and I actually think are probably more prone to do so. Does it help their tips? In most cases, probably so.

Have I flirted in hopes of getting a better tip? Yes, but ONLY when I've been single...Now there is a minor detail I would like to mention. Smiling back at a woman and/or making eye contact with a customer is part of my job...so when I make eye contact and smile back to a woman who smiles at me with her flirtatious tactics, I'm only doing my job and have no intentions of my relationship with this female going past the sale of a beer while I'm working at the stadium.

I agree with smiling and being friendly with your customers. This is an important aspect of any job. It is something that most people should understand, and for me would impact a tip way more than the amount of flirting that is taking place. This could be because I am not an overly flirtatious person, even in the least bit. I would much rather rely on a friendly demeanor than flirting with someone to receive a good tip.

The number one group of women who flirt and initiate the flirt are the cougars.

Not surprised. However, I originally wouldn’t picture many cougars hanging out at a baseball game. I guess I imagine the Real Housewives of Orange County, Atlanta, and any other city this ridiculous show resides in that I have left out, drinking cocktails on a yacht. Yet, this baseball game idea is brilliant. What better place to prowl on young single men than a baseball game? We gotta give these cougars some credit! Well done!

Now I know I have a baby face and young looks...which is why I think that woman my age don't think that I'm old enough for them to flirt with...or not to mention, even look old enough to sell them a beer....so the cougars lay low in the grassy outfield and then attack when the little beer man doesn't expect it coming.

As a guy who has been dating an amazing girlfriend, I don't think about flirting. Do I have the occasional female initiate a flirty smile or initiate a flirty conversation with me? Yes. Do I return that flirt? No. Only way I would ever return that flirt is if my girlfriend gave me the thumbs up to flirt with other women...and in turn who am I to say she couldn't then flirt with other men? We have the upmost trust in each other. So what would be the harm in me flirting with a lady to try and get a bigger tip? The Bible doesn't cover the area of flirting. Now if I was married, I wouldn't even consider asking the question: if flirting is even okay? even if it was to bring in more money...

The ultimate question here, is whether or not it is ok to flirt in order to potentially get a larger tip. Probably so. I don’t see it as a huge issue for someone to initiate or even return flirting in hopes of increasing their tip. As long as it is truly innocent and the intention does not go beyond the sale/service, it really is harmless. I do, however, think that the situation changes if you are in a relationship/engaged/married. I think in this case, it is probably a good idea to choose not to flirt, even if it is strictly for a bigger tip. This doesn’t mean it is necessarily wrong, I just think the best choice would be to avoid it.

So in closing, I appreciate my girlfriend's thoughts and opinions on this topic and hopefully we've stirred up some thoughts in people's heads... What would you do? I want to hear your thoughts. I have opened the poll back up for a few more days and want to know why you voted the way you did.